«А потом я вдруг увидел потрясающий сон» — как атеист решил вновь надеть на себя крестик и в конце концов стал священником

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«А потом я вдруг увидел потрясающий сон» — как атеист решил вновь надеть на себя крестик и в конце концов стал священником

Иерей Георгий СУНГАЙЛА

Сейчас я священник. А было время, когда я... срывал с себя крестик. Мой отец был католиком, мама — православной, меня крестили в детстве в одной из литовских униатских общин, и тем не менее семья не была религиозной. Вспоминаю себя в подростковом возрасте: как я смотрел свысока на христиан, считал, что христианство — собрание предрассудков, вера в «бородатого дедушку на облаке» и любил устраивать Ему бесконечные «тесты» вроде «Если Ты есть, пусть завтра случится то или другое». И даже если оно случалось — а это бывало, — то никак меня не убеждало, не трогало сердца. В один день я с гордостью окончательно объявил себя атеистом. И как раз тогда снял с себя крестик. Но через несколько лет произошла целая череда событий, которые все изменили.

Как-то, уже во время моей учебы в университете в Вильнюсе, нам к зачету сказали прочитать... Евангелие от Луки! Да, была у нас дисциплина, где изучалась в том числе история религий. И вот я помню, как мы с однокурсником сидели в общежитии, пили чай, вслух читали по главе, комментировали, все более и более поражались силе прочитанного, время от времени выходили покурить и… думали: «Как было бы хорошо, чтобы это все было правдой». Мы не могли не удивляться личности сострадательного, любящего Христа — казалось, вот идеал, которому хочется верить, к которому хочется стремиться. И когда, дочитав до конца, курили на балконе, мы договорились: в воскресенье пойдем в ближайший католический храм на службу.

Так и поступили. А вскоре стали заходить и в храмы других конфессий. Христианами мы себя еще не считали, но наши привычки и образ жизни постепенно менялись. Мой друг почувствовал, что рассматривать фривольные картинки и распаляться — грех. Однажды он признался: «Знаешь, больше не могу смотреть на эти мерзости... Чувствую, что это как-то неправильно». А мне стало омерзительным курение.

Потом одной ночью мне приснился потрясающий сон. Как будто я возношусь куда-то вверх, и там меня окружают какие-то светлые существа. Я с ходу было возгордился, но вдруг чего-то испугался. Пробовал читать молитву «Отче наш», но не мог вспомнить многих слов, и тут все изменилось: свет померк, существа потемнели и начали кричать, а я полетел вниз и очнулся, словно от удара о кровать, как при падении. За окном было темно. И я в страхе, пытаясь вспомнить, как заканчивается молитва «Отче наш», принялся искать свой старый крестик. Нашел, надел — и больше никогда не снимал.

Последней каплей для меня стало посещение православного богослужения — летом гостил у своей православной бабушки и попросил, чтобы она сводила меня на службу. Я стоял на всенощном бдении, ничего не понимая, и чувствовал себя… дома. Чувствовал, что Бог — рядом. И уже хотел прийти сюда снова утром, на литургию.

А окончательно все встало на свои места на православную Пасху, уже в Вильнюсе. После большого перерыва я пошел на службу, на этот раз в православный мужской монастырь. И во время богослужения опять почувствовал, что встретился с Богом.

В следующее воскресенье я снова пришел и после службы сказал свечнице, что хотел бы пообщаться со священником. Но оказалось, он уже ушел и будет не скоро. Я остался ждать. Сел на скамейку и два часа молился у иконы Виленских мучеников. Вдруг подходит ко мне какой-то монах и спрашивает, что меня беспокоит. Вот, говорю, был в детстве крещен у униатов, а теперь хочу присоединиться к Православной Церкви. И он дает мне «Закон Божий». Я месяц его читал, потом исповедовал свои грехи, стал членом Православной Церкви, соединился со Христом, и Он принес в мою жизнь истинное счастье, мир и радость, каких до тех пор в жизни я никогда не испытывал. И позже всю свою жизнь я решил посвятить служению у престола Его храма.

Источник: https://foma.ru/a-potom-ja-vdrug-uvidel-potrjasajushhij-son-kak-ateist-reshil-vnov-nadet-na-sebja-krestik-i-v-konce-koncov-stal-svjashhennikom.html



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